I am sorry. But anybody who has the intelligence capacity, or lack thereof, to run up a telephone bill of $85k should be shot and his body cremated so that the organs cannot be donated to another unfortunate soul.

Canadian, Piotr Staniaszek, thought he could use his “$10 unlimited mobile browser plan from Bell Mobility” as cheap access point to the internet to browse, download and download some more to his heart’s content without being charged additional costs.

His defense for running up the bill now appears to lie somewhere between lack of communication, ignorance and stupidity. Ok, fair enough, the last two was added by me.

As if that isn’t enough, He said he thought the first bill for $65,000 in November was a mistake.

When he spoke to Bell Mobility he was informed the bill had climbed to nearly $85,000 after more downloading.

He downloaded high-definition movies and other large files unaware that this incurred massive extra charges.

Bell Mobility has since lowered the bill to $3,243, but Mr Staniaszek says he intends to fight the charges anyway.

Then he delivers the killer line that erases all reasonable doubt for me on his mental stability.

The thing is, they’ve cut my phone off for being like $100 over,” he told CBC News.

Here, I’m $85,000 over and nobody bothered to give me a call and tell me what was going on.

So this article spurred me on to draft a list of the type of people who should be shot for owning a mobile phone:

1. Piotr Staniaszek (for obvious reasons)

2. People who pay additional costs for a state-of-the-art phone but hardly even use it to make calls

3. The same people in point #2 who then come to me to asking to explain to them what some of the phone’s features are

4. People who use “Meisie meisie”, the farting noise, the ambulance siren or the standard Nokia tone (Yes, you too) as ring tone

5. People like Kurt Darren who use “Meisie meisie” tunes as ring tones

6. People driving on the highway at 60km per hour in the fast lane chatting on their phones

7. People who speak on their phones like it’s a walkie-talkie (Have you seen those kids?)

8. Women who think mobile phones is an excellent weapon to use in matrimonial disagreements

9. Men who think the model of their mobile phones represent the size of their wallets and other parts of their anatomy (take a drive through Clifton, Seapoint and you’ll know what I mean)

10. People who’ve bought those clip-on thingies to wear their mobile phone like a 9mm pistol (On their belts)

11. People in #10 that tuck in their shirts to show off their “gun”

12. People in #10, 11 that wear khaki shirts and matching pants with it

13. People in #10, 11, 12 who’s phone is actually the Nokia 3210

14. People who prefer, after 8 years, to still choose the Nokia 3210 when eligible for an upgrade because “It has everything I need in a phone” (Sorry dad!)

15. Some people in my office that does all of the above

Please add some more in the comments section.